3 IMPORTANT LESSONS FROM A WORD CUP

LESSONS FROM A WORLD CUP by MANDY TREGASKIS

• HOW TO WIN

I see Spain is going to win the World Cup...


Its true...
the Octopus has chosen! Perhaps the octopus has a thing for Torres?


LESSON: Your team must bribe the octopus to win the World Cup. Or you need to turn him into nice calamari steak with a little lemon butter and chilli.

• FIELD INVASIONS

Did you see two men run onto the field in the last match?


1. One very good looking Italian in a Superman shirt - he got a light fine in the FIFA court - the newspaper said the women were all in love with him - plus he got a light fine because he did it for world peace! Good looking and World Peace - what a winner. He had planned to run onto the field using a wheelchair to get close.


2. The other was a German. He did not get off so lightly - he was not as good looking - plus he ran onto the field when a friend dared him.




LESSON: Only try running onto the field if you are good-looking, prepared to be photographed without your shirt on - and support World Peace.

• GETTING TO THE GAME ON TIME

Did you see that about 1900 people missed the game in Durban when their flights could not land at King Shaka airport?




LESSON: Fly a lot earlier if you want to get to the game. Or do what the rich do - Charter your own flight and park illegally at the airport so that the commercial flights have to turn around and go back!